Part serious, part humorous, these hiring manager war stories will help you avoid both common and comical mistakes known to trip up job seekers.

Being on the frontlines of the employment scene, recruiters have heard every story in the book – in fact they wrote the book – on candidate faux pas. Don’t commit these common and often comical errors (shared with our recruiters by employers) when searching for your next position!

• When asked what the candidate saw himself doing in 2-3 years, he said, “running my own business.” Bad idea for employers hunting for stable help.
• Said he was so well-qualified that if he didn’t get the job, it would prove that the company’s management was incompetent.
• Her shirt was all wrinkled.
• His shoes weren’t polished.
• Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.
• He was wearing a sweater instead of a jacket.
• Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
• He wasn’t wearing a tie.
• Asked to see interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.
• She was wearing sneakers.
• Brought her large dog to the interview.
• He was more nervous than is the norm on the interview.
• He wasn’t sitting straight up. He slouched.
• He had an attitude from the moment he walked in.
• He refused to fill out an application.
• He wasn’t articulate.
• He said he was going to retire in 5 years.
• When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.
• She said, “If I never see another help desk again, that would be fine with me.” Fine, except she was applying for a Tech Support position!
• He said negative things about his former boss and employer.
• He said he had left a previous job for more money.
• Balding candidate abruptly excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.
• He frowned when I talked about working overtime.
• He looked away when giving me his answers. I thought he might be lying.
• He had experience on his resume that he couldn’t back up.
• When I asked questions about a particular work experience, he couldn’t answer. I wondered what other information on his resume wasn’t true.
• Candidate wouldn’t get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.
• He was more interested in what he wanted to do, than in what I needed done.
• He went from “A+” after looking at his resume to “B+” after the interview, due to his low energy levels and lack of enthusiasm.
• Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.
• He kept saying he ONLY did this and ONLY did that, which sounds negative. I HAVE done this and HAVE done that sounds positive.
• He was 10 minutes late for the interview.
• Candidate chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.
• He rambled and didn’t answer the questions. (Answer questions in 30 seconds or less, or at least stay focused on your interviewer’s topic).
• Without saying a word, the candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.
• Candidate stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
• She said she was available because a Headhunter called her.
• She brought up salary and benefits.
• He asked for $2,000 more than I could pay.
• Announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer’s office.
• He won’t fit in; he was too quiet and this is a team environment.
• She seemed depressed.
• He wasn’t upbeat.
• Candidate interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.
• She smoked during the interview.
• Man wore jogging suit to interview for a position as financial vice president.
• Candidate wore a T-shirt to interview; when asked about it he said it was a dress-up T-shirt because it had a pocket in it.
• Called university to verify degree and was informed that seemingly fantastic candidate had 15 credits. “You mean toward his MA?” I asked. The answer was no – a total of 15 credits.
• She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.
• The candidate had a degree from a university in North Carolina. I tried to look up the university in a directory but couldn’t find it. I called the candidate and asked him to please get me the phone number. Two days later he called and said he couldn’t find the number and he didn’t remember what city the university is in.
• Reference informed me that the candidate was management material and extremely talented. Two years later, by accident, I discovered the company owner was the candidate’s father-in-law.
• Candidate had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.

These anecdotes are straight from the hiring managers’ mouths, as funny as some may seem. In all seriousness, work with your recruiter to polish your interviewing skills well ahead of time, so no slip up – no matter how big or small – will stand in the way of landing your dream job.